After consulting with the physician and nurses, the family decided to discontinue meds and mechanical life support of Dad. He wasn't making any improvement since being admitted, and as time passed, his chances of getting better were diminishing. My main concern was that he be in as little pain as possible and that we should not prolong his suffering needlessly. We all took our turns to say our goodbyes. I was feeling so many different emotions, but mostly, I was numb with shock.
Sometime before 4:30 pm, the nurses started "the process" of giving him morphine and taking him off the IVs and ventilator. His heart continued beating faintly and irregularly for about an hour, then his breathing completely stopped.
I think he was ready to go. His friends noticed that he was a little down during the last couple of weeks. His angiogram did not have great news and it was clear that he needed to have bypass surgery. He was likely thinking about how much he could tolerate the surgery itself and whether he was going to be really out of the danger zone afterwards. Little things he said lately made me think that he was preparing us for what might happen.
It's been good for the family to distract ourselves from the grief and focus the arrangements for the funeral service. I'm going to say a few things and get some help from a friend to work up a segment in formal Chinese (similar to what I did for my mom two and a half years ago).
It's going to be challenging to summarize this remarkable man's life. He was a hardworking entrepreneur who lived and pursued his dreams with intensity.
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11 comments:
I am so sorry to hear this, but it sounds like your dad was ready for this passing. It will not be an easy transition for you but I truly believe, as my dad said just before he died, everything happens just as it should. Much much love to you and your loved ones.
Hugs and love to you and your family.
I'm thinking of you Armani
Thoughts and support for you and your family
hi Armani
i'm sorry about your loss. as you know, i was in your shoes just three weeks ago. all of those moment by moment discussions between the family and your father's physician are tough and full of angst. it's better, though, not to put a human being through operations or connections to equipment when there is limited chance of survival, unless the removal of the equipment would actually inflict pain. the artificial life support prolong your period of wait for the inevitable, and your relative suffers enormously too. my best wishes for the weeks ahead, while you deal with grief.
hugs,
Arturo
My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
hey armani,
i'm sorry to hear about your dad. may you find strength and unity in the weeks ahead
su
We are all thinking about you and your family. Please know that you did the right thing, and your dad is now "with" your mom. Hope to give you a big hug in person soon...
Biggie Poops and I are sending you a lot of love. Hang in there. I'm so glad that your family has come together to give each other support in this time.
My condolences, Armani...
Hugs
I'm sorry to hear about you and your family losing your Pop. But you haven't really lost him, right? Everything does happen as it should.
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